I love the following Youtube videos so much. I’ve been thinking about them alot. I’ve been practicing rambling for the camera haha
I also wrote this recently:
So where am I headed? I’ve been thinking about kind of packaging these videos and the Christine Lynn character as someone who is amateur at almost everything. Before school let out, I was working on an amateur synchronized swimming video.
I painted this apron for an upcoming video piece. The painting is based on a flower my mother grew in her backyard. I do not paint often but most of my paintings are based of the flowers my mom grows in her backyard.
I just got back from New York City. I spent a few days there. I saw a lot of art and all-in-all it was a pretty great trip. I was ready to return though. On my second night there, I decided to go thrift shopping with a friend of mine. We went to the East Village because I remembered hanging out in that area when I used to live in NYC. When I got out of the Uber there was a bicyclist riding in my direction. They were going the wrong direction on the one-way street. I tried to get out of their way but the cyclist grabbed the car-door and started slamming it into me. They were yelling at me as they passed, calling me a nazi-fat-bitch. Then he threatened to cut me. I tried to head towards the thrift store, and as my friend and I opened the door to duck in, he had circled back to harass me some more. He screamed, “Fat Bitch!” at me as I entered the store and most people turned to look at me. While I was just relieved not to be actually hurt since he threatened to cut me, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that someone thought my body was so terrible that they had the right to cut me. I understand that something else must have been upsetting this individual and I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, however, this incident reminded why, or rather reassured me that it is important to make art about and talk about the fat female body.
I’ve been reading the book, The (other) F word, a celebration of the Fat and Fierce and I especially like the first essay by Alex Gino. Alex Gino wrote the book George which I loved. I had the pleasure of meeting them at an ALA conference in Atlanta, Here is a photo from my Teen Librarian days:
Anyway in the essay I mention, Alex talks a lot about body sovereignty and I think this is terminology that I can agree with. I struggle with idea of Body Positivity because I don’t always feel positive about my body and I don’t like the pressure that comes with the idea of body positivity to simply always be positive. I also don’t like how anyone can embrace body positivity. It feels less inclusive because it is so inclusive. When skinny women hashtag body positivity it undermines the effort to include fat bodies in the movement. I like fat activism a lot but the problem I have with fat activism is that often what I read goes against science and I happen to believe in science. I personally do not want diabetes and I like to exercise and I wouldn’t even mind losing some weight because I think it might make me feel better. I’m not sure that this thinking aligns me well with fat activism but I think what it comes down to for me is body sovereignty an this idea that we should be able to control the decisions about our own skins and what is within them.
What does body sovereignty have to do with my art. Recently I have been making art about the fat body, but I plan to expand this subject to broader still topics about body politics related to body sovereignty.
I was inspired for this idea by this image of a children’s librarian that I found. She had a large skirt filled with toys. I believe the children in her storytime would interact with the toys and she would use them to tell stories. Here’s a link:
Today I finally shot the second episode of Dance Assist two. Some things I am trying to do differently is to let the humor come through from the object and not force over-the-top intentional humor. I think subtle is better but I am still not quite where I want to be. I took advice from Artist Lauren Henkin who I had watch my video and I got rid of some of the make-up. I think it works better without the loud lipstick. I decided not to shoot this one too many times and obsess over getting it perfect. I want these to move faster and be almost more improvisational.
When I first started my research about the fat body I was into body positivity but the more I have learned about fat activism the more I see how that idea of body positivity can be flawed. I feel the way that I feel about body positivity that same way that I feel sometimes about queer pride. Like I don’t need your fucking permission to be proud or feel beautiful and if there is a day where I don’t want to feel that way, I should not have to. I really like this blog and the way this anonymous author talks about not having to force yourself to fit into these rigid categories and definitions.